[Patrick]

It seems as if it is a universal law that the moment we believe something or hold ourselves to certain standards, then we receive an onslaught of fiery tests and trials to prove whether or not we are completely invested in them.

My experiences in the past few months have been very difficult, especially how I have been socialized because of my disease. I am less and less acknowledged at work, I have become virtually un-dateable, my ex-wife ignores my sickness when it comes to spending time with my children, there are no local cancer programs, and no one to guide me through this strange and unknown journey. These experiences often lead to the following questions. Does anyone hear me? Does anyone see me anymore? Am I completely invisible? Does anybody recognize that I am still human?

This existential crisis has placed me directly in the flames. I have noticed that I am becoming more cold emotionally. It is getting harder to stay positive when the pain seems to become more intense. I have started to care less about others because they don’t care about me.

This is the reason why it is important to develop a personal philosophy. I have to always keep these principles in mind because the person I want to be can easily turn into a downgraded and distorted version of myself because of the harshness of life. It is much easier to maintain the trajectory of our lives when we are positive and seeking to become the best version of ourselves – maintaining a standard. It is much harder to eliminate bad habits and negative traits as they stain our souls.